Measured Updated dailyMarkdown copy

Show how the healthy, aspirational person behaves

A viral relationships and dating format on TikTok and Instagram

Frame advice as what a secure, relaxed or self-respecting person does in the same painful situation, instead of diagnosing the viewer's problem.

3

accounts it worked for

11x

median, times their usual

#41

of 55 in relationships and dating

Angle

Talking head, Slideshow

Why it works

Viewers aspire to the identity and share the post to signal their standards. It also gives a step-by-step model rather than another diagnosis.

Hook formulaWhat [aspirational identity] does when [painful dating scenario]

How to make it

  1. 1Name the aspirational identity (secure, relaxed, likes herself).
  2. 2Pair it with a common painful scenario or a debunked excuse.
  3. 3List exactly how that person responds.

Examples

Best first, one per account. Each links to the original post.

  • @nellz__bellz

    27K followers, TikTok

    “the art of being a relaxed woman”

    238x their usual views, talking head, psychology of attraction

  • @thepersonaldevelopmentschool

    709K followers, Instagram

    “WHAT SECURE ATTACHMENT DOES WHEN YOU'RE NOT A PRIORITY”

    10x their usual views, talking head, psychology of attraction

  • @theschooloflifelondon

    966K followers, Instagram

    “The Rules For Dating When You Actually Like Yourself”

    8.0x their usual likes, slideshow, psychology of attraction

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More relationships and dating formats

What’s working in relationships and dating this week

How this is measured

  • Every post is compared with its own account's usual reach, not with other accounts. "14x their usual" means the post got 14 times the median views of that account's recent posts.
  • TikTok videos and Instagram Reels are measured on views. Instagram carousels have no view count, so they are measured on likes against the account's usual likes, and say so.
  • A post makes the library at 2x its account's usual or more. A format is a repeatable move (what is said or shown, or how it is edited) that several accounts used in breakout posts. It is listed here once it worked for 3 or more different accounts.
  • Formats rank on how many accounts they worked for and how far above usual, damped so a fluke on one tiny account cannot outrank a format that worked for ten.